The I Do Inventory
by FoxPhile
Summary: One-shot. Leonard and Penny get ready for the wedding. Written for the Lenny Week prompt: Wedding.


**Author's Note: Another fic for Lenny Week 2014. The prompt for today is **_**Wedding**_**. I hope you enjoy it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own **_**The Big Bang Theory or any of its characters**_**. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I make no profit and no infringement of copyrights is intended.**

* * *

"_I just called…to say…I love you."_

Penny groaned as she reached for her phone. She really needed to get more tech-savvy. Her friends were continually hacking in to her phone and changing the settings. While she thought the music was a sweet signal letting her know Leonard was calling, it was embarrassing when she forgot to turn the phone on silent during auditions.

"Hello, sweetie!" she answered, hoping there wasn't too much evidence of the night before in her speech. Or that Leonard would assume she just woke up – which was true, after all.

"Hello, beautiful," came his voice out of the speaker. "Did you sleep well?"

"I slept like a log…I think. Either that or I passed out, I'm not sure which. What time is it anyway?"

"It's just after ten in the morning. I figured I better call and make sure you're awake so you'll get to the church on time."

Penny rolled onto her back and groaned, throwing her free hand up over her head and smacking it on the headboard. She would have to get some coffee, and soon.

"Oh, God! I am so glad the wedding isn't until this afternoon. It may take until noon just for me to get out of this bed." She paused, opening one eye, thankful that the room was bathed in semi-darkness despite the late hour. Thank goodness for light blocking drapes.

"You okay, honey? What exactly did you girls _**do**_ last night anyway?"

Penny thought for a minute. She expected the exercise of her brain cells to hurt, but, surprisingly, she didn't have a headache. She felt groggy, like she didn't get enough sleep – and that was certainly true – but she didn't feel sick and her head wasn't throbbing. Maybe Amy knew what she was about when she kept insisting they drink plenty of water.

"I'm okay," she mumbled into the phone. "I'm not sure you really want to know everything that happened last night. There was dancing on tables and apparently we scrubbed each other with Loofahs. The rest of the night is a bit of a blur.

"Were there…did you…"

Penny smiled. Her little homunculus was still a bit insecure at times. She couldn't really fault him for it. She felt pangs herself anytime she heard he was working with a female grad student. And why were so many physics students so gorgeous anyway? Not that Penny thought brains and beauty were an incompatible combination. But did so many of them have to look like nubile Hollywood ingénues straight from Central Casting?

"No, Leonard. There were no male strippers. No strippers of any kind. Amy promised Sheldon there would be no such shenanigans, and that girl is a woman of her word. Not that I would have wanted them either. You know you're the only stripper I want to throw money at!"

She heard Leonard start to laugh and then cough and choke a bit. "Don't remind me!" he finally managed to sputter, "Or I'll come over there for a repeat performance, wedding or no wedding!"

Penny sat up abruptly. "Oh no you don't, Leonard Hofstadter! You need to get to that church on time, too! I've waited way to long for this day to miss it for a booty call. Even if yours is the cutest booty I know!"

"I know," Leonard sighed. "I can't wait, either. I just really missed you last night!"

Penny snuggled back under the covers. "I missed you, too. It's been months since we've spent a night apart and I've gotten used to having you with me. If I wasn't completely exhausted, I probably wouldn't have slept a wink!"

Penny threw the covers off and stood up. She walked over to the concierge console and flipped the button to activate the screen. Quickly tapping a few items, she ordered coffee and a bagel with some fruit. She needed to save her appetite for the wedding supper. Raj planned quite a spread and she intended to enjoy it.

"You know it's best that we girls stayed here at the hotel last night. I'm not sure any of us could have made it safely home."

"You sure you're ok, sweetheart? Just how much drinking did you girls do?"

Penny laughed. "We actually didn't drink that much. I'm really just tired, not hungover. I don't think I fell into bed until about seven this morning. I just hope I can make it down the aisle without falling on my face."

Leonard laughed at that. "I'm sure you'll be just fine. Once we get through today, we can relax for a couple of weeks."

"I KNOW!" Penny squealed. "It's gonna be so great after the craziness of these past few months. I'm so glad I don't have any more fittings or cake tastings to go to and no more invitations to write or wedding favors to wrap. If people really knew what they were getting into when they got engaged, there would be a LOT more elopements!"

Penny crossed the room to curl up in a chair and wait for her breakfast to arrive. "Speaking of drinking, how did Sheldon do at the stag party?"

"Much better than I expected," came the surprising answer. "He didn't get nearly as drunk as he did at Howard's bachelor party. I'm really kind of proud of him. He's come a long way since that trip he took last year. Our Sheldon is a grown up, responsible young man!"

"Well, I'm glad. He's going to have to take a lot more responsibility now. I just hope he's up to it."

"I think he'll be just fine. But speaking of Sheldon, he just woke up, so I probably need to start getting us both ready. I love you, Penny, and I can't wait to see you later."

"I can't wait to see you either, sweetie. Just so you know - I'll be the beautiful woman walking down the aisle and winking at you."

"You're going to be the most beautiful woman there!"

"You know it, sweetie! Bye!" Penny smiled and ended the call.

Just then she heard three knocks on the door and Penny chuckled, realizing she half expected to hear Sheldon's voice saying "Penny!" followed by two more sets of knocks. She got up to let in the waiter, who carried a tray to the small table, handed her the receipt to sign and wished her a good morning.

She poured the coffee and resolved to enjoy her breakfast, before nerves and the excitement of the day hit her.

* * *

Leonard stood nervously fidgeting in his tuxedo. He knew that no one was really looking at him. Everyone always said all the attention at a wedding was focused on the bride and her attendants and no one paid much attention to the men. But he still felt like an overdressed penguin, and his shoes were pinching his feet.

Suddenly, he felt as if all the breath left his body. His shoes, his suit, everything he'd been through in the past few days getting ready for this was forgotten as he saw Penny begin her march. She carried a bouquet of flowers and took achingly slow, deliberate steps. She caught his eye and winked, making him grin like a fool in return. She really was the most beautiful woman there and Leonard still could not believe that she was all his, for better or worse, richer or poorer, for ever and for always. He was the luckiest man on earth!

After a few more minutes, everyone was assembled before the altar and the wedding party turned to face the officiant, who began the traditional words of the wedding service.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of these witnesses…"

"How can we possibly be in the sight of an entity that doesn't exist?" Sheldon whispered aside to Leonard, not nearly quietly enough.

Oh God! Leonard groaned inwardly. He saw the preacher's eyebrows raise and a scowl replaced the man's beatific smile. Leonard nudged Sheldon and whispered "Behave!"

The service continued as the cleric instructed them on the seriousness of marriage, and the solemnity of the vows that were about to be taken. Finally, he began the pledges.

"Do you, Sheldon Lee Cooper, take Amy Farrah Fowler to be your wife and life partner…"

* * *

Like most weddings, it was over much too quickly considering the amount of time and effort that went into planning the event. Sheldon and Amy were pronounced husband and wife and the assembled guests clapped and cheered as the groom placed his hands on the brides hips, drew her gently closer, and placed his lips on hers. Leonard realized he'd never actually seen a Shamy kiss. Like the white lion, he knew it existed, but it seemed more myth than reality.

As he watched, he suddenly found himself blushing. On the surface, the kiss was undeniably chaste, yet somehow, it was also curiously sensual. Leonard found himself trading glances with his own wife, and wondering how quickly he could get her into a hidden alcove somewhere. As Sheldon ended the kiss, he lifted his head and gazed into his new wife's eyes. Of all their friends, Leonard knew best just how much his friend loved the quirky Neurobiologist who came in their lives thanks to a silly prank and the threat of a dirty sock. The look the robotic physicist had on his face at that moment proved once and for all that he really did have feelings.

Sheldon escorted his beaming bride down the aisle. Leonard took Penny's arm in his and followed. Howard and Bernadette strode behind them with Raj and Emily bringing up the rear. As they exited the church, the guests blew bubbles at the bride and groom. Howard's idea to replace the traditional packets of rice or birdseed with bottles of soap bubbles was inspired. Sheldon couldn't complain about the untidy tossing of foodstuffs and seemed enchanted by the ethereal, floating bubbles that surrounded them.

The bride and groom left in their limousine for the reception hall. Leonard and Penny were riding with Howard and Bernadette. Leonard barely noticed Bernadette's insane driving as he was reacquainting himself with his own bride in the backseat.

"Good grief, you two! Can't you keep your hands off of each other for 15 minutes?" Bernadette nearly drove them off the road as she stared into the rear view mirror.

"Come on, sweetheart," Howard tried to cajole his wife and get her to focus on the road. "Didn't that remind you just a little bit of our own wedding? If you weren't driving, that might be us in the back seat, canoodling."

Bernadette cast a glance briefly at her husband, then set her eyes back on the road in front. "Why do you think I'm so cranky? Howard Wolowitz, we are dancing two dances at this reception and then you are taking me home so you can ravish me!"

"Well, all right, Bernie," he answered, "But we'll miss the buffet!"

* * *

Leonard swayed blissfully to the soft music. His feet were no longer really moving. He just shifted his weight from one to the other, his right arm tightly wrapped around Penny's waist. His wife's head was resting on his shoulder and he occasionally caught a subtle whiff of her favorite perfume.

Looking over Penny's shoulder, he could see Sheldon and Amy dancing as well, Amy looking more radiant than Leonard could recall. He had to hand it to her. She managed to get her robotic and seemingly emotionless boyfriend to say "I do" right on schedule. This evening he'd seen more intimate contact between the pair than he had in the six years since they met. And there would be even more intimate contact tonight, he knew. Sheldon had quizzed him at length – and very embarrassingly – on any and all ways to please a woman sexually. Leonard's repeated references to the book he and Penny got for Sheldon were met with solemnly rational arguments that he needed more first hand information from a trusted source to ensure a satisfactory outcome.

"Despite your obvious shortcomings, you have maintained a relationship with Penny for several years. In view of her prodigious past experience with men, I can only conclude that your sexual prowess is exemplary. Naturally, I wish to excel in this area as I do in all others. Therefore, I come to the master."

Leonard adamantly rejected Sheldon's suggestion that he be allowed to video tape Leonard and Penny in action so that he could study actual techniques.

"I fail to see the rationale for your objections, Leonard," he recalled Sheldon's argument. "In all the years of your courtship of Penny, you never had any objections to me _**hearing**_ every nuanced moment of your lovemaking. I simply wish to now add a visual component to my audio memory in order to have a reference guide for my own upcoming nuptial encounter with Amy."

Leonard hoped, for Amy's sake, that Sheldon listened when he told him that lovemaking was much more than just technique.

As he looked around the room, he saw the other two couples – Howard and Bernadette and Raj and Emily – dancing as well. Three out of four of the original gang married now. He suspected Raj was contemplating a proposal as well, but thought it might be awhile before the Astrophysicist worked through whatever issues he had with his family about marrying a non-Indian.

"Leonard? Leonard?"

"I'm sorry, what?" he answered, wondering how long Penny was calling his name as he drifted through his own private thoughts.

"Wow. You were a million miles away just now," she grinned and playfully ruffled his always unruly curls. "What were you thinking about?"

Leonard chuckled. "I was just doing an inventory of our little group and how many of us are happily married now. Anyone who met Sheldon and I and Raj and Howard ten years ago would probably have laid money that none of us would ever be married."

Penny smiled and playfully kissed him. "This time next year you might have to do another inventory," she said cryptically.

"You're probably right. I won't be surprised if Raj pops the question any day now. I just hope he doesn't do it just so he won't feel left out."

Penny stopped dancing and looked into her husband's eyes. "You really think he might do that?" she asked. "Maybe I should have a talk with him."

Leonard smiled and kissed her back. "I don't think that's necessary. I'm probably just thinking of the old Raj. He's grown a lot and Emily is really good for him. I'm sure if he asks her to marry him, it will be for the right reasons."

Penny started slowly moving to the music again. "I hope so. And you might be right, there might be another wedding before long. But that wasn't the inventory I was talking about."

"No?" Leonard took the lead again, and since the music was a bit more up tempo, swung his wife out for a twirl and pulled her back into his arms, spinning them around the dance floor.

"No," she answered, grinning as the spun and dipped to the music. "I was thinking more along the lines of the next generation. By this time next year, you might be making an inventory of babies."

Leonard laughed. "You think Shamy is going to get right down to work on those little overlords they're planning?"

Penny grinned. "I think they might. But if they do, there will be at least one baby waiting to greet that little overlord."

Leonard stopped dancing. He stared at Penny. The grin that lit up her face was one of the most beautiful he'd ever seen. He barely registered her next words as the meaning of what she just said sank in.

"When I unpack my suitcase, I'll be taking out three little sticks to add to that box of memories I have. Only all three of these have cute little plus…Oh!"

Penny wasn't able to finish her sentence as her husband suddenly picked her up and twirled her dizzyingly through the dancers, kissing her until she was breathless.

* * *

**Author's Note: I couldn't help myself, I had to add a touch of Shamy in here. But it's still Lenny focused so I hope you'll forgive me. I also think this also might count for tomorrow's prompt – Kids / Babies – just in case I can't get any inspiration for that one. **

**03-June-2014**


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